Monday, December 17, 2012

12/17; Unlocked

Yes, I have unlocked my chastity device.

When I first agreed to lock myself up, I wasn't sure what it was I wanted. I wanted to experiment with giving up control of my cock, and having someone else take that control. I didn't really want to jump right in with someone I didn't know, so I had a friend hold the key for me. He's a great guy, but just not the right key holder for me. He too is submissive, and he just didn't have the firm and dominating hand that I needed for this.

I considered staying self locked, however I just didn't feel the same fulfillment that way. The thing that attracts me most to being chaste is not the inability to masturbate, but the submission to someone else, so self locking just really doesn't appeal to me.

I plan on staying unlocked for at least a week, and will hopefully be able to find a new key holder soon, as I truly do enjoy having my cock locked by someone else, and giving up that control.

I will of course continue to blog here, and as soon as I am locked again, you will know.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Too Submissive?

Sorry it's been so long without an update! I've been crazy busy with work...been a rough week for us at my job.

Today I'm not giving an update (cus there's not a ton to update right now...still locked up), but instead I am talking about something else.

I posed this question on Twitter (and got no responses by the way, so thanks jerks! Just kidding, you're all wonderful) and now I'll ask it here. Is it possible to be TOO submissive?

First of all, I'll start out by saying, yes, I believe it is.

For example, you can be too passive. This can also be described as the "Overly 'Yes Sir'" attitude. This is the guy who will literally say "Yes Sir" to whatever a Sir says, with absolutely no thought or questioning. They are also the subs that, when asked what they are into, or what they like, they simply respond "whatever you want, Sir." While some Sirs like this, I think it's a bit much...

As a sub, I do enjoy pleasing my Sir, and usually that involves saying "Yes" when he asks. However, I have a mind of my own, and I'm not going to just sit there and say that the Sir can do whatever he wants. I would hope that a Sir enjoys it when a boy/sub speaks up for what they want, and respects him for that. This also gets into the idea of "no limits" which could be its own post in itself.

This all comes up for a few reasons. First of all, I found someone's Recon page today that said they were looking for a permanent slave who would completely drop out of their life and basically live in the cellar of this mans house, never to be seen by anyone by him. While I generally try to reserve judgement on other peoples kinks and fetishes, something about this struck me as just too much.

Also, a sub was supposed to come up to see me today, he wanted me to dominate him (something I do on the rarest of occasions) and he was like this. He never asked questions, and his response was almost always "Yes Sir." Personally it turned me off. If I am going to Dom someone, I want someone with some give and take, not someone who is just going to lie there.

Anyway...that's my two cents...what do you all think?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Not really an update...

I've been MIA for the past few days, sorry! I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking with different people, and my thoughts were all kinda jumbled and what not, and I'm not a "stream of consciousness" type blogger, so I had to wait to reorganize my thoughts.

I'll have a post tonight for sure, so be on the lookout!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Chastity Update 12/8; Oops

So, I just shot a load. And it was amazing, although probably not kosher.

For those of you who don't know me, I'm EXTREMELY sensitive. Like, crazy. Just being hard in my cage sometimes gets me close. Today has been pretty dull, mostly just me surfing tumblr and other blogs (specifically A Breeder's Journal, because it's FUCKING AMAZING) so I decided to go for some ass play.

I pulled out the one ass plug/dildo I own (it's too big of a plug for me to actually keep in) lubed it up, sat it on my computer chair, and started fucking myself with it.

I'm not HUGE into assplay. There are occasions where I am crawling up the walls to get fucked, but usually, I kind of dislike it. Today was a crawling up the walls kinda day. I was fucking myself for a good 20-30 minutes, and it was incredible.

Then trouble started. I could feel myself close to cumming, and while I knew I shouldn't do it, it felt so good. I kept kind of edging myself, getting as close as I could without cumming, and then would stop fucking myself. I did this for another 10 minutes, and there was enough precum to make you think I had shot a load.

Then, out of nowhere, was my favorite moment in sex. That moment RIGHT BEFORE you cum, where you know it's going to happen, and there's absolutely nothing that anyone can do about it. The point of no return as I like to call it. I felt it coming, and I tried my hardest to make this the one time where I could come back from the point of no return. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

So I shot a load right through the cage, and it splattered all over the bottom shelf of my desk (which was incredibly aesthetically pleasing, as I have a black desk) and then continued to ooze out for a few minutes more (in fact, it's still oozing out now, as I write this.)

It was incredible, but it was a mistake. I know I shouldn't be cumming, especially when I'm the cause of the orgasm. Had it been at the hands of another person, that would have been different.

So from now on, no more anal play when I'm by myself, and limited porn watching, as that just gets me close as well.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Chastity Update 12/7; Hooking Up

So last night, I did it. I found someone in the middle of nowhere Iowa who was not only curious about my chastity device, but ended up really being into it.

We'd been talking for a bit on A4A before I was locked up, and he sent me another message last night and we started chatting. We already talked about how I was into some kink, but I hadn't mentioned chastity to him yet. I was a little nervous when I told him that he would think it was too out there, and we'd be done.

But he said he was interested in it, and as he put it "a blow job is a blow job."

So we agreed to meet for a drink and then go back to my place. He was really cute...kinda awkward, talked a lot about himself, which was...meh. But overall, he was cool.

So we went back to my place and started making out right away, he was a great kisser, and when he took his shirt off, he was so fucking sexy. We were making out, playing around some more, and then he went to take off my pants. I was a little nervous he would see it, and think that it was hot in theory, but when it was in person, no more.

Luckily, he LOVED it. He was totally into it, and it just made him get more rough. He fucked my face so good, I was gagging so much, and I fucking loved it. He spanked my ass so hard, it's still slightly painful.

Now, this whole time, I probably could have cum so quickly had he just barely touched my cock (which he did on occassion, slapping my balls and what not), but thankfully, I was able to avoid cumming, just made me fucking hornier for him.

After probably about half an hour of face fucking, making out, nipple play and more-- he shot the hottest load all over my face, and then continued to fuck my face with his cum covered cock.

It. was. amazing.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Chastity (mini) Update 12/6

So, as I said last night, I was kinda bummed out that the Sir had to cancel on me, and I guess I was more horned up than normal when I went to bed last night. Then this morning, I woke up and was covered in my own cum.

I have never in my life had a "wet dream." Not even when I was a teenager, so this was a bit of a weird experience to me.

It kinda upset me, because I feel like I have disappointed my Key Holder by cumming, even if I had no control of it.

What do you think? Should I be disappointed in myself? Should my key holder be disappointed in me and punish me in anyway?  Am I over reacting because I am just having a bad couple of days?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Straightjacket Spreadeagle



I absolutely LOVE this video, and the rest of this guys work. Some really wonderful gimp torture that I am DYING to try out with someone!

Chastity Update 12/5; Disappointment

This post will be kind of emo and whiney, please feel free to ignore it.

Today was a shitty day all around. Rough day at work, very stressful, with some just awful news. My silver lining to the day was the fact that I was supposed to have a Sir come spend the night, but due to circumstances outside both of our control, he had to cancel. I wasn't pissed at him, but I was kind of pissed, just at the world at this point (super dumb, I know).

I was really excited for him to come because since I have been locked, I have been dying for some kind of action, and with this Sir, I was finally going to be able to get some.

Of course, that didn't happen. But, something good did come out of this, I learned something about myself.

First of all, let me clarify, that while someone else is holding my key, the key is still in my possession. I keep it in a frozen bottle of water in my freezer. My key holder lives in Chicago, and I live in Iowa. While they are not super far apart, I don't feel comfortable not having access to the key in an emergency. So, in theory, I could melt the bottle at any point and unlock myself.

But tonight, I didn't.

I was tempted...very much so. I was angry and frustrated, and normally, in that situation, I would jerk off until I couldn't any longer. But I knew that if I did that, I would be disappointing my key holder, the Sir who ended up having to cancel on me, those of you reading this (I hope...) and myself.

As much as this chastity is about submitting to a Dom, it is also about me learning about myself. And today I feel like I learned that I really can put my pleasure at the back of my mind, in order to want to please a Sir or a Dom. I always thought "oh yeah, I could definitely do it," but to actually have it happen, that's something different.

That's all for tonight I guess.

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Chastity Update 12/4

Time for an update on my chastity. It's been just over a week now (I was locked on Sunday the 25th) and I'm getting to an interesting time in my...well I guess I'll use enslavement for lack of a better word. When I've talked with other subs about chastity, a lot of them have mentioned that eventually, I'll get to a point where I'm no longer constantly horny, and I'll mostly just-- be content with being locked. I don't know if I'm completely there yet, but I definitely think I'm close.

When the device was first put on, sex was ALWAYS on my mind. I constantly thought of sucking cock, or getting fucked, or serving a Sir. Now, it's definitely something that is on my mind, but I'm not constantly hard up in my cage. I definitely have a clearer head now than I did when I started. (Of course, as I'm writing this, I'm hard as can be, wishing there was a Sir here for me to worship when I was done, but that's of course because I am writing this...)

From my perspective, this is an important moment in my chastity journey. Before this moment, I was still constantly yearning for my own pleasure. Now that I have been locked for this amount of time, I don't always think about that, or at least it's not the first thing on my mind.

Of course, I would still LOVE to be serving below a Sir's feet...but that will come eventually.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Short Update

So I know I said I was going to try to write daily...and of course I almost missed today.

But I had a good reason! As I said in my first post, one of the terms of my chastity is to keep my apartment clean, and I just spent the past 4 hours completely cleaning my apartment!

I did all the dishes, threw out all the garbage, put away all my clothes and reorganized the living room. It feels good to have a clean apartment again, but it feels even better to have done what my key holder told me to do.

Right now, I should go to bed...but I will have much more time tomorrow to update more, so I'll probably have 2 posts-- a chastity update and then something about kink in general.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

No Jacking off Till 2013

Hello! Welcome to my new blog, allow me to introduce myself and what not.

My name is Dominic, and I am a submissive. That seems incomplete when I say it that way, but I can't think of another way to put it.

I've been locked in chastity now for 1 week, which is the longest I have ever gone, and I am about try something else out-- something that excites me, but also makes me very nervous. I have agreed to a solid month in my chastity device.

To some, it may not seem like a whole lot of time, but I still consider myself fairly new to chastity and everything-- plus jacking off is one of my favorite things to do, so we'll see how this goes.

As a friend of mine (and my current key holder) explained to me, as a sub, I don't have the right to control my own cock, or to decide when I get to cum. Those decisions are up to Dom's and Sir's. That thought alone gets me hard (well, as hard as I can get now...under the circumstances). The idea that someone else gets to decide something about me and a part of my body, I absolutely love it.

For me, submission-- and subsequently chastity-- are both more mental than anything else I would say. The idea, of someone giving me an order, or telling me to do something, and I do it because I know that they are superior, and that I am there to make them happy, that's something I don't even know if I can fully put into words how much I enjoy.

Part of the point of this blog is so that I can discuss my chastity. I decided to do it in a blog for two reasons. First of all, my key holder, like most people, is very busy a lot of the time, so he's not always available to speak when I am. Second of all, in addition to being submissive, I am quite the exhibitionist. I love the idea of people reading this, and thinking about my locked cock, and how they are superior, or how they might be in the same situation.

I am going to try to make daily postings that are just about my chastity, and then additional postings just about BDSM and other kink things.

So let me wrap up, with some quick other things about my chastity. As I already said, I agreed (actually, I asked for, so I have no excuse if I decide I don't like it down the road) to be locked for the rest of the year. In addition to that, I have some other conditions that my key holder has given me.

  • I am to remain shaved from my neck down to my knees.
  • When I am alone in my apartment, I am to remain naked at all times.
  • My apartment is to be kept clean at all times.
As of right now, those are the rules I have to follow. I hope to receive more soon.

I hope you enjoy the blog (and that I didn't bore you with this post) and that you stick around for more!

Thanks!